"I love you can’t you see that. I cherish every part of your body, including your feet that lay hidden beneath your heels. You belong to me Serenity, me."

It was eight o’clock at night and we had just finished making love before she had to go back to that asshole she lays under…

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Chapter 3: Flashback



"I love you can’t you see that. I cherish every part of your body, including your feet that lay hidden beneath your heels. You belong to me Serenity, me."

It was eight o’clock at night and we had just finished making love before she had to go back to that asshole she lays under every night. At least he gets to hold her in a way that only I should hold her. He’s there to caress and satisfy her every needs, when God himself, put me on this earth just to satisfy this woman. Making her happy is and should be only my job to attain for this woman, sent from heaven, but she’s constantly sharing herself with another man. I should’ve just left her alone but she’s my drug and I can’t live without her sweet nectar.

Her phone ringing interrupted my pure thoughts causing me to look at search through her ysl purse that I decided to buy because she’s worth the luxury that I can provide for her. Fishing out her phone was a hassle because of all the junk that she keeps in her purse bit she finally found her ringing phone before it went to voicemail. Seeing that it was Jacob intrigued my interest in fucking with his head, and his so-called girl. Considering she was already straddling my lap, I began to grind my hips into her forcing her freaky ass to bite her lip, to hold in a moan that she so desperately wanted to let out.

"He-Hey baby." She stuttered trying not to make it noticeable that she was doing something she shouldn’t, but her stuttering was really giving her away. I wanted to laugh at her antics but I knew me laughing, would give our secret away, and she wasn’t ready for that. She slapped my chest slightly hard mouthing out the word ‘stop’ and that’s exactly what I did, for only a second. "No I’m alright, it’s just that you interrupted my work out session, that’s all." She sorta lied while I once again began my mission to make him feel some type of way about the woman he claims to love dearly. Hearing a moan slip out of her mouth, was enough to make me stop my torture of pleasure.

Once she ended her phone call with that nigga, she was highly upset at me, saying he heard her moan on the phone. Like I cared about that nigga feelings. She claimed she was about to go home,and she had even began to dress herself in a pair of the many outfits, that I’d showered her with, to make her plan stick but we both knew the truth. She wasn’t going anywhere, not yet anyway.

The moment she tried to walk past me, was the moment I snatched her up pushing her up against the wall mighty hard. A low moan escaped her lips once her back collided with the wall. She loved the rough shit man, and that made me proud because I’m able to punish and satisfy her all at the same time. The amount of pleasure that I get off her actions are impeccable, might I add.

Sucking on her neck, was something I hardly got to do because she was afraid that Jacob might see the love marks placed on her skin, that wasn’t placed by the affection that he attempts to show her. Tonight I didn’t care if he saw what I could do to her or not. Tonight she was mine and mines only.

Her sweet angelic moans continued to sound off as she placed her arms tightly around my neck, to keep her from falling from all of the bucking her knees was doing. All I was doing was viciously showing her neck some attention. Immediately stopping my attack forced a pout to grace her face as the pleasure that she felt was no longer there.

A chuckle slipped out of my mouth before she placed her luscious lips on mine forcing her tongue inside of my mouth. Her hands once again found there way around my neck, pulling me in deeper than before. The passion this kiss shared was overpowered by the sexual frustration that she so desperately wanted to get rid of. Breaking the kiss was somewhat complicating because of the tight hold that she had around my neck.

"You can get out now." I stated before I made the short trip to my bathroom that was connected to my bedroom. Using the restroom was one of the most excruciating pains I’d ever had to endure because of the hard on that I had. It literally felt like forever before I was finally finished handling my business. Once I’d flushed the toilet of my urine, I watched my hands and like always, I checked myself out in the mirror.

Opening the door, the sight that has graced my California king sized bed, could literally make a blind man see and/or make a homeless man rich. Serenity lay comfortably naked while her hands swam through her jewel. Whenever I meet God, I have to give him his props for making someone so sexy. He was doing his thing when he created her.

"Baby, I don’t want to go home yet. I want you to fuck me senseless." She barely got out through her moans that kept rolling off of her tongue. Stopping her sexy ass movement, she stood to her feet quickly making her way towards the bathroom entrance, where I stood frozen from the beauty that her naked body covered. "Please?" She innocently mumbled with lust surrounding her eyes making her look sexier than before.

"You good baby now put your clothes on and get out, since you was so ready to leave a few minutes ago, so leave." I grunted knowing damn well she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Who was I kidding? I couldn’t refuse her good loving even if my life depended on it. She was just that damn good.

"But I don’t want to go anymore. You got me horny and you need to put out my flame, please?" She begged, dragging her hands down to my dick massaging it through my pants. "I need this dick inside of me right now."

Without asking, she jumped herself up on me, wrapping her hands around my neck, and securely wrapped her legs around my waist. As I began to wrap my arms around her waist to keep her from falling, she began to place kisses every where on my face making her way towards my neck, begging me to take her down and fuck her shit up. She began to pull my shirt up as I made my way to the bed. I threw her little freaky ass on the bed watching as she pulled on her luscious ass boobs causing me to bite my lips in awe. I am just so proud of the freak I’d turned her into.

"Don’t tease me okay." She mumbled unhooking the button to my pants releasing the monster that was locked away in confinement. I began to slowly stroke my dick through the fabric of my boxers, while Serenity just stared at my dick. The look she always showed when she stared at my dick always had me wanting to laugh because it was just the most surprised look she could ever give. The first time she saw my package, she cried, frightened that I would destroy her in half. She was a good girl at the time so I guess I felt her pain. I am lying my ass off.

Not wasting another minute, she pulled my dick from my boxers instantly taking it in her mouth. She’d never given me head before show this was so foreign to me, and low grunts continued to flow freely from my mouth. “Shit!” I accidentally yelled out as she took my whole dick in her mouth. Never has a girl ever fully taken me into her mouth because of the size, except Serenity, and I have to say, it’s the best pleasure that you could ever receive while getting head.

Drool began to drip onto her breast causing my dick to grow harder at the sloppy mess she was creating. My hands found their way to her hair as I so desperately needed to grab onto something to keep myself from falling backwards. I thought I gave the best head but I think I’ve been out beaten. My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I thought I was seeing my brain.

"Like that baby?" She softly asked. Opening my eyes, I looked down to see a permanent smirk appearing upon her gorgeous face. I wanted to answer her back in a smart ass way but the amount of pleasure that her mouth had forced me to go mute. The only sound coming from my mouth was grunts. I felt like a little bitch because of the reactions I was giving Serenity. You would think she’s the man right now by how I was acting.

About fifteen minutes later, I finally put myself out of my misery and squirted my kids down her throat. Like a G, Serenity swallowed my load without any hesitation what so ever. My nigga! “Who the hell taught you that shit fat mama?” I was still in a daze from the sexual high that my baby had put me on. I was just star struck at the moment.

"You did daddy." She mumbled with that innocent look, once again, etching across her face. If I taught her that shit, than I deserve the ‘best man on earth’ award. The head she gives deserves to receive a thousand Grammy awards. The big plus is that her mouth has only wrapped around my dick and not Jacob’s. Well her pussy as well, considering I did take baby girl virginity. I feel so special because I get to do the one thing niggas try to do but don’t succeed, and that’s having the privilege of being inside her.

"No baby! I need your dick inside of me right now!" She semi yelled as soon as I was about to return the head favor. Following her command pulled myself up and gave her what she wanted.

"Daddy? … Daddy? … Daddy are you dead?" Miracle asked awakening me from the dream that has constantly made itself comfortable inside of my dream world. The day before I was in that dreadful crash that almost took me to heaven.

The minute I opened my eyes the sun, that wasn’t covered by a set of curtains, nearly blinded me to death so I closed my eyes until they were used to the morning sun. As soon as they were adjusted, I fixated my eyes onto an awaiting Miracle, who was willingly smiling at my sleeping face. “Daddy you alive!” She yelled throwing her little arms around my tired body, her long hair falling freely onto my face. She snuggled her face into the crook of my neck, tickling my neck with her warm breath.

"Why would you think I was dead baby girl?" I asked.

"Cause you didn’t wake up when I called your name like mommy so I thought you died."

"How do you know about death baby?" I asked confused as to how my five year old daughter would know anything about death anyways.

"Mommy told you that had left her to be with God. She told me she lost the greatest that has ever stepped into her life before I was born and always told me bedtime stories about how she loved you dearry." She stated mispronouncing the word dearly. Hearing Miracle state these things to me actually made my heart jump at the fact that Serenity was just as in love with me as I was with her. Probably even more because even after I was forced into a coma, I was still able to make her happy with the nine month old baby that was formulating inside of her belly. Even when I’m not around, I can still put a smile on her face.


Tonight I’m drowning in tears, but others call it alcohol. I don’t know what triggered off my emotion bomb but thinking of Logan had my feelings on the lowest type of feeling. Depression. Two months had passed since finding out that Logan was still alive and that all of the suffering that I’d endured were all for nothing.

I found you the same night I lost you… Sasha says, “It lasted only a year…” but it was the best year I ever had.
I was so glad Logan was by my side for a whole year. He taught me the true definition of unconditional love.

That night I received a call telling me he’d died, was the night my heart died with him. I could’ve been a whore for giving my jewels to two men, but my heart told me otherwise. My heart knew who she wanted but but brain never listened to the words my heart was speaking, just the thumping sound of a heart going into panic mode.

The night before where we lay tucked under each others bodies, I looked into your eyes and thought, “If anyone asked me to define perfection, I would not hesitate to say it’s you.” But that was way back then. The only perfection I see now is: nothing, emptiness, loneliness, saddness. It just amazes me that the people who are empty and sad,somehow, others find them beautiful, and charming.

Sasha don’t mind the tears anymore, and maybe it’s just me, but  it feels like I have no place in this world anymore. I mean, sure I’m a mother, and I’m supposed to protect her, but where’s my protector? Who’s willing to love me and all of my flaws? Who can love me AND my daughter?

Sometimes, I have no choice but to think about the whereabouts of Logan. I wonder does he have a girlfriend who loves him better than me. I wonder if her even thinks about me from time to time. I wonder if he even remembers the nights we spent connected as one, our heroic voices sounding off the walls, the shaking of the bed, and the pleasure breaking the world’s best record. I wonder if he remembers the love shared between two people who weren’t meant to be in love with one another.

"How are you feeling?" Sasha asked trying to have a conversation with me. I just sighed, taking another sip of the wine that has became my best friend.  

"Are you hungry?" She asked wrapping her arms around my shoulders. No matter how many times I tell her no, she keeps asking me the questions she already know the answers to. The only person I ever told about Logan was Sasha, because she had caught me crying three years back, so I had to tell her.

"Why isn’t he dead?" I asked feeling the stinging sensation at the brim of my eyes from the tears that were trying to be released from my eyes. I know I wanted him to be alive but actually knowing that he’s alive and breathing the same air as me, was more of a heartache.

"It wasn’t meant to be baby." She simply stated rubbing her hands up and down the small of my back keeping me from breaking down again. "Let’s stop talking about that because soon I’ll be crying with your ass and I’m to sexy to be crying." Shaking my head at her dumb ass, a chuckle had slipped out of my mouth, before we just had a full laughing session. The joke wasn’t even funny but I just needed to laugh at something right now.

"Shut up Sasha, gosh you’re so stupid!" I yelled out once our obnoxious laughter ceased. She just shrugged her shoulders and began to pour us another drink. Drinking is something we hardly ever do because Miracle never wanted to leave my sight but now because her dad is in her life, I never see my little minion. I miss her little butt. "So you’re actually going through with this talk out your issues thingy?"

A few days ago, Ms. Lydia had asked me to invite Logan over and have a heart to heart conversation with each other. She says, “we have issues that can’t be healed if we never find out why they even occurred in the first place.” So that’s the reason why I’m soaking in my tears and drowning in a red pool, called wine. Sasha came over to keep me company and to keep Miracle entertained while her parents go down a dark road called Memory.

Twenty Minutes Later

"Okay Trey Songz or Tyrese?" I asked Sasha causing her to laugh for no reason. We were playing a game of Who would you Rather Marry? It was a childish game but we were bored and wanted to do something stupid, so this old game popped into my head. It was actually quite entertaining, if you played with the right people.

"Tyrese, of course!" She yelled out taking another sip of our wine of choice for tonight. I just stared at her dumbfounded with my mouth slightly ajar. Did this Bitch really just say that?

"You are a fool. How could you pick him over Trey Songz?" I asked completely confused at how she really choose anyone over Trey Songz. If I didn’t have Miracle, ooohhh, that man could get all of this honey right here. I’m just saying.

"Girl you know I loves me some chocolate! Lil Jodie could get it baby, shiittt I’ll be his Yvette." She yelled grinding her hips into my couch while finishing off the last of her wine that lie at the bottom of her cup. "Your turn bitch, Trey Songz or your baby daddy?"

Without thinking, I answered the question at hand with the honesty that I could muster up causing a wide grin to spread across Sasha’s face. “My baby daddy.” Was the answer that had left my mouth.

"I knew it bitch! That man has got to be fine because Miracle is soooooo gorgeous. And she doesn’t look like her mammy at ALLLL." She mumbled forcing a scowl to appear on my face as I side eyed her profile. I lifted up my cup bringing it to my mouth and taking a much needed sip, scoffing at the hater that she is.

"Bitch you just want to get kicked out don’t you?" I nonchalantly stated, even though I was joking.

"Who? Bitch you lying, I’m not going anywhere, and I’m tipsy right night. Child I’m spending the night at this mother fucker."

"What will your nigga say when he finds out that you’re not there in the morning?" I asked referring to her crazy ass nigga Lance who will go crazy about her ass. It was cute to me but she thought it was plain ‘stalkerish’. No that’s not a word.

"That nigga won’t say shit! All I have to do is put this addictive ass pussy on his ass and that nigga goes mute!"

I couldn’t help but to laugh at her nasty ass. She wasn’t lying though, if she even mentions the word sex to him, he begans to act like a slave, doing everything in his power to impress his master to get what he wants. Their relationship is very dysfunctional if you think about it, but its cute.

"You are so nasty, but I love it."

Nervous butterflies began to swim through my wine filled stomach as soon as the sound knocking banged throughout the house. I thought I’d be prepared for this exact moment where he’d knock on the door and we’d began our debate but now that it’s here, all of the practicing that I’d went through, flew out the window. “I guess I’ll get it.” Sasha mumbled noticing how nervous I was because of the shaking that I was doing.

"Auntie!" Miracle screamed as soon as Sasha opened the door. I stared in amazement as Miracle forced herself out of Logan’s arms and into Sasha’s. "I missed you." She mumbled hiding her face into Sasha’s neck while Sasha just stared at Logan like he was a piece of meat. I’d yet to look over at Logan because I was still too nervous to have him.

"You must be the baby daddy." Sasha asked licking over her bottom lip before facing be and silently saying how fine Logan is with her lips. I chuckled at her slow ass before my eyes finally landed on the presence of Logan. His eyes were already staring back at me with a small smile etching his face. Nodding his head at Sasha’s question, his eyes never left mine. It felt like the world had once again frozen and it was just me and him in the world.

Standing to my feet, I began to walk over to my little princess because I had missed her so much. She has been out of my sight for two whole days and I literally felt miserable without her. Thank God for Sasha coming over today. “Hey baby.” I happily stated interrupting her and her auntie moment. A huge smile immediately graced her gorgeous face.

After me and Miracle had our moment, I handed her back to Sasha before leading Logan back to my room so we could discuss whatever we needed to get off of our chests. Opening my room door, a big photo of me and Logan hanging behind my bed, had caught my eye. I wanted to turn around and leave the room because of the photo but as soon as I turned around, I had caught Logan staring at the exact photo with a smile covering his face. Embarrassment began to cover my face as this was totally awkward for me.

"So where do we began?" I asked interrupting the staring contest that he had with the photo. Clearing his throat a little he’d replied while bringing his eyes down yo stare into the soles if mines.

The beginning.